Are Wedding Traditions Still Important? Part 3

speech

 

  1. Should the Bride take her husband’s surname?
  2. Should the speeches be the preserve of one gender?
  3. Should the cake still be iced fruit cake?

 

  1. Now this is a tough one. Back in the day it was expected for the Bride to take her husband’s name but nowadays that’s not always the case.  If the bride has a career where she is known by her maiden name and changing it could cause confusion then for professional reasons she may choose to keep her maiden name but use her married name for personal things.  Also, with some families only having girls and no boy to carry on the family name some Brides like to keep their name but put their husband’s surname last to make it double-barrelled.
  2. Most speeches are the preserve of the Father-of-the-Bride, the Groom and the Best Man but nowadays it is becoming more popular for Brides themselves to want to say something and why not? Also, if a female member of her family has given her away then she too should have her say and if the Chief Bridesmaid wants to say something then bring it on I say!!
  3. I think this has now fallen by the wayside.  Wedding cakes are now becoming lighter and with so many choices you can have each tier a different flavour. Some don’t even get iced but stay ‘naked’ just covered in buttercream.  Nowadays, if you mention iced fruit cake, people are more likely to associate it with Christmas rather than a wedding.

Are Wedding Traditions Still Important? Part 2

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  1. Should there still be a Best Man and Bridesmaids?
  2. Should the Bride’s Father still walk her down the aisle?

 

  1. Nowadays it’s not unusual for there to be a Best Woman (I should know, I was one and even wore tails!) and why should there be only one Best Man? If a Groom has more than one brother or more than one close friend how can he choose only one of them?  Those not chosen usually act as Ushers but think of the fun of having more than one speech from people that have known you from different stages of your life!  The only issue may be who hands over the rings but if you pick your oldest brother or the friend you have known the longest then I don’t think anyone will have a problem.  As for Bridesmaids, well this can go the other way.  With people having so many ‘friends’ these days Brides can find it hard to choose and end up with six or more maids.  Not only is this costly if the Bride is buying the dresses but can also cause problems in the hair and make-up department.  I know one bride who wanted an ‘up-do’ but by the time the hairdresser got to her she ran out of time and just about managed to blow-dry her hair!
  2. I think most Brides would want this, however, with families being the way they are these days that isn’t always the obvious choice. The Bride’s Father may no longer be alive, he may be divorced from her Mother and has a great relationship with her Step-Father and doesn’t want to hurt him or she may not be close to her family at all.  I’ve been to weddings where the Mother-of-the-Bride has walked her down the aisle, her brother, her best friend or even no one at all, just herself like Meghan Markle.  There is no right or wrong here, it really is personal choice.

Are Wedding Traditions Still Important? Part 1

Proposal

  1. Does the Groom still have to go down on one knee to propose?
  2. Should the Groom still ask the bride’s Father for permission?
  3. Should the Bride’s family still pay the bill?

 

  1. This is one tradition that I think will stand the test of time. It makes the giver and the receiver both feel special.
  2. This is a tough one. Out of common courtesy it is usual to ask for permission but what if you can’t trust them to keep it a secret?  My husband knew my family would be too excited to keep it to themselves so never asked but my Dad was thrilled anyway (he was finally getting rid of me at the grand old age of 35!!).  Also, what if he said no?  Would you really stand by his wishes?  I know most grooms-to-be have still asked their girlfriends to marry them despite their Fathers refusal to give consent.
  3. I think this is one tradition that is falling by the wayside. With weddings getting more extravagant most couples feel that if they want the works it is only right that they foot the bill but will sometimes ask the parents to pay for one part e.g. the flowers or the meal.

Engagement Rings – What A Minefield!

Engagement Ring

When it comes to your boyfriend ‘popping the question’ would you be happy for him to surprise you with a ring he’s chosen or would you want to pick it yourself?   If you’ve got to the stage where he’s ready to propose, he must feel he knows you pretty well and what your tastes are so would you happily accept it or say ‘Darling that’s wonderful but not really me’ and make sure he’s kept the receipt so you can go back with him to the shop and get what you want?

Then how do you decide what to choose?  Do you prefer a solitaire, three stones, a certain cut or colour or would you prefer to have it designed so yours is unique?

If money is tight and he can’t afford the ring of your dreams would you upgrade as and when he could afford to or would the sentimentality mean you’d stick with the original one?

I used to work with a girl who ‘upgraded’ her engagement ring four times!  The marriage didn’t last – maybe she upgraded him!!!

Is There Such A Thing As A Wedding Season?

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Most brides, when planning a wedding, will pick summer, probably in the hope they will get good weather on the day but, speaking as a photographer, having a lovely sunny day can wash out the photographs so don’t write off the other seasons.

Spring brings about all the lovely flowers and blossoms which look great in photos and as it’s slightly cooler you won’t flag quite so much during the day as heat can be very tiring.

Autumn brings the glorious colours in the trees as their leaves change and can be a great colour palette to base your theme around and the autumn trees look fabulous as a backdrop.

Winter has the bonus that most hotels will be decorated for Christmas (this can save you money on providing your own decorations) and a sprinkling of snow can look very romantic.  It also allows the bride to wear a cape or faux fur shrug adding another dimension to her dress and you can get away with vibrant coloured bridesmaids dresses rather than the pastels that tend to get picked in the warmer seasons.

Nature is wonderful so embrace it!

 

What Has Happened To Hen Parties?

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Once-upon-a-time a hen party was judged how good it was by how much you could remember the next morning!  All the chief bridesmaid had to do was find some bridal ‘tat’ to dress the bride in, find a pub and if she really pushed the boat out, a stripper (or two).  Nowadays, it’s more about doing what will look good on social media and being healthy.

Gone are the bottles of wine and cocktails and in their place are smoothies and juices,  the drunken dancing has been replaced by yoga and the only stripping being done is by the hens at the spa getting ready for treatments.

Maybe brides and their entourage are getting more health conscious but these parties don’t come cheap and usually last for two or more days and are most likely to be abroad.  When some people are struggling with the cost of just attending the wedding is it really fair to add this extra expense just so it’s media worthy?

Don’t Be Afraid To Ask!

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When organising an event of any kind, it’s always difficult to let go of the reigns and hand them over to someone else.

Weddings can be particularly difficult as it’s the most memorable day of your life but unless you learn to delegate, it could be the most stressful too.  I’m not saying let other people make the big decisions for you but friends and family are there to help and they would probably be thrilled to have been asked.

You may know someone who is ‘arty’ and could do your invitations or someone who has lovely handwriting that could do your seating plan and table names or it may just be getting some friends round a table and and helping you stuff, stamp and address envelopes and if you don’t want them to feel as if they are being used, cook them a meal or throw in some wine and make a night of it.  Who knows, you may discover your family/friends have talents you never knew existed.